People naturally fear confrontations, but it is the responsibility of a leader to overcome that fear. Learning how to utilize I-Messages when approaching an uncomfortable confrontation may mean the difference between an employee’s person growth within or leaving the company prematurely. Leaders solve problems; that comes with the job.However, not all leaders have the innate skills required to solve every problem in the most efficient way, especially when it involves a human element. Dealing with difficult employees or employees in general requires some level of confrontation and unfortunately, avoiding confrontations is a natural and very human reaction.When someone’s behavior is causing difficulty within a team, many leaders struggle to resolve the situation without confrontation.
Most likely, they can’t. So, the next question must be how to resolve the problem without unnecessarily injuring that person’s ego or sparking deep resentment.As a leader you may have been faced with these difficult situations: An otherwise dependable employee works too slowly and holds up the rest of the team. Another has vital information that that needs to be heard, but is reliably late for meetings. Perhaps a fill-in receptionist is impolite on the phone or curt with clients. What about that supervisor from another department who just won’t cooperate with you or your team?What about that employee who enthusiastically volunteers for extra tasks, but then fails to follow up? All of these examples fall into the leader’s realm of responsibility. They are situations where the leader’s needs for productivity or cooperation are not being met and will inevitably require a confrontation to see resolution.These particular situations seldom resolve themselves.Confronting employees or team members with negative feedback requires assertiveness. Surprisingly, there are a number of leaders who do not often utilize this particular skill and are still quite effective in their roles—see the Servant Leader, the Charismatic Leader and many others—which often makes for uncomfortable and awkward confrontations.
Leaders are people first, and people avoid confrontations for various reasons.Fear of hurting another’s feelings is a valid reason for not wanting to address the situation, or fear that the negligent employee will retaliate with anger. People often respond to negative feedback by starting an argument, or responding with negative feedback of their own. In the least, they may simply just walk away. In essence, it takes courage to enter into a situation of confrontation to address a problem that needs to be resolved at the expense of one’s ego or pride.One the other hand, allowing a problem to continue at the expense of leader or the team as a whole exhibits permissiveness.Permissive leaders create more problems for both the employee in question and the company, often leading to a continuation of the problem and a building of resentments in the person on the receiving side of the problem.Permissiveness and the fear of confrontation often stem from one’s misunderstanding of how to confront a problem.
Most likely, they can’t. So, the next question must be how to resolve the problem without unnecessarily injuring that person’s ego or sparking deep resentment.As a leader you may have been faced with these difficult situations: An otherwise dependable employee works too slowly and holds up the rest of the team. Another has vital information that that needs to be heard, but is reliably late for meetings. Perhaps a fill-in receptionist is impolite on the phone or curt with clients. What about that supervisor from another department who just won’t cooperate with you or your team?What about that employee who enthusiastically volunteers for extra tasks, but then fails to follow up? All of these examples fall into the leader’s realm of responsibility. They are situations where the leader’s needs for productivity or cooperation are not being met and will inevitably require a confrontation to see resolution.These particular situations seldom resolve themselves.Confronting employees or team members with negative feedback requires assertiveness. Surprisingly, there are a number of leaders who do not often utilize this particular skill and are still quite effective in their roles—see the Servant Leader, the Charismatic Leader and many others—which often makes for uncomfortable and awkward confrontations.
Leaders are people first, and people avoid confrontations for various reasons.Fear of hurting another’s feelings is a valid reason for not wanting to address the situation, or fear that the negligent employee will retaliate with anger. People often respond to negative feedback by starting an argument, or responding with negative feedback of their own. In the least, they may simply just walk away. In essence, it takes courage to enter into a situation of confrontation to address a problem that needs to be resolved at the expense of one’s ego or pride.One the other hand, allowing a problem to continue at the expense of leader or the team as a whole exhibits permissiveness.Permissive leaders create more problems for both the employee in question and the company, often leading to a continuation of the problem and a building of resentments in the person on the receiving side of the problem.Permissiveness and the fear of confrontation often stem from one’s misunderstanding of how to confront a problem.
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